Posts Categorized: psychology

Partner Conflicts Over Sartorial Choices

fighting with husband about clothes

It’s POSSIBLE that a certain husband dislikes this dress. Rather strongly. And said husband is generally spot-on when it comes to what works and what doesn’t for my style and body. But he’s also extremely open-minded. Often times he’ll hate something on first glance, but then compliment me when he sees it worn in the context of a fully styled outfit.  That’s what I expected to happen with this dress. I bought it in New York back in February, brought it home, showed it to him, and he didn’t like it. Trotted it out MONTHS later as part of this ensemble and felt smashing in it. I asked him if he’d changed his stance. Nope. Still dislikes it. read more

Originally posted 2011-10-18 06:02:08.

Self-consciousness, Focus, and Projection

Self-consciousness is a funny beast, don’t you think?

We human beings seem to spend an inordinate amount of time worrying about how we look, how we look compared to others, how we’re being perceived, whether we’re cool enough, and what others might be thinking about us. And all of these concerns are natural extensions of life in an active society, and especially of life in an active society that puts great stock in physical beauty.

But there’s a piece of wisdom that floats through my brain any time I feel myself starting to truly obsess about how I’m being perceived: The vast majority of human beings are so busy worrying about THEMSELVES, they hardly even notice YOU. In other words, self-consciousness isolates and cancels. Yeah, if you walk into a crowded bar wearing a yeti costume most of the bar patrons will focus on you. But if you walk into a crowded bar wearing bar-appropriate clothes, you are unlikely to become the sole object of intense scrutiny. Everyone there is too busy wondering what you think about them to spend much energy sizing you up. read more

Originally posted 2011-10-11 06:28:58.

Reader Request: How to Work Well with Salespeople

Lovely reader Cat left this request in a comment:

I’d love to hear your take on shopping and sales-people … more specifically, how to deal/interact with them. How to not feel guilty or beholden and buy stuff you don’t need because you don’t want the sales person who helped you to feel bad, how to make good use of their talents and services, how to say “no,” how to say “later,” etc., etc.

Do you ever feel these pressures? With your mad shopping skills, I thought you might have some insight/tips. read more

Originally posted 2011-11-01 06:15:22.