Posts Categorized: psychology

Reader Request: Coping with Post-haircut Questions and Comments

pixie cut from back

Reader Sonia reached out with this request:

I have read your piece “If You Want To, You Should Totally Chop Off All Your Hair” (brilliant!) several times, and after two years of psyching myself up, I made an appointment to totally chop off all my hair. I am 100% committed. And excited! And terrified. My hair is currently one length, mostly straight, and ends several inches below the tops of my shoulders. I’m 45, and it’s been this way (or longer) for 26 years. And I’m SO TIRED OF IT. Hence, the chopping. read more

Clothing Commentary

I’ve begun updating some of my greatest hits posts so they’re more current. This is one of them!


This is my Audra Jean underbust harness. (That link is prolly not quite safe for work viewing …) I’ve had it for years, worn it in a variety of ways, and loved it all the while. It’s funky, badass, the perfect piece for bringing in a floaty A-line dress like this one, and a pleasure to wear. It is also a piece that some say has a design influenced by BDSM, and although I respect the BDSM community it’s not my scene and not why I like this harness belt.* read more

A Pale Girl’s Confession


So I’ve written about being a pale girl before. And as we head into true summer and the Minnesota air heats up, I watch as the people around me become tanner and tanner while my own skin stays nearly as colorless as it was all winter long. But I will now, finally, confess to you all something that I find both hilarious and shameful:

LAST spring – sometime around May – I began to notice something in my outfit photos. Despite the fact that I slather on the SPF 30 every single day, my face, neck, and arms were looking decidedly browner than my legs. It’s the legs that gets us pale white girls in the end. After six months encased in tights and pants, they absolutely glow in the warming summer sunshine. And I experimented briefly with using a lighter powder on my face to balance out the color difference, but it was no use. So, eventually – right after I’d received a few choice comments from people in my life and read a few beauty blog reviews – I invested in one of those slow-build, moisturizing self-tanner concoctions and began slathering it on my legs. And for a while? It looked decent. Not too orange, and not terribly dark. Seemed to be doing exactly what I wanted: Darkening my legs a little and making me seem like I was one, uniform color all over. Albeit a very light one. read more