The other day while wearing this outfit I experienced something very new. So new that I don’t know if I have ever experienced it. On occasion people will look me in the face and give me an obviously disapproving look. It is quite clear with some people that they do not approve of transgender people and it is obvious that is what they are reacting to. On the Internet some people tell me that if they saw me in public they would never know that I was not born a woman. While I know that there is a wide range of possibilities for how humans look, I also know that I have figured out how to take a halfway decent picture, and that in real life, if you interact with me long enough, you will eventually know without a doubt that I was born as a male. Thus when people look me in the face and give a disappointing look, it is obvious to me why.
The other day though, I got a very new disapproving look. This look was difficult for me to interpret properly in the moment and it took me some time to correctly identify it. It was still a disapproving look, but it did not come from me being transgender. It came from me showing some decolletage. But I am getting ahead of myself as usual; let me rewind for a moment. My wife and I had gone away for the weekend to do some wine tasting and on the morning I wore this outfit we were checking out of the hotel. We walked together to the elevator and there were a couple of older women already waiting. We could hear them speaking in a language that neither of us could identify. They were dressed very conservatively, wearing very muted colors. Upon walking up to them, they both turned to the sound of my wife and I approaching.
Most of the time people will look me in the face and go from there. But these two women were different. Maybe it was their age. Maybe it was the norm in the culture they were from. I really don’t know, but when they turned to look at my wife and I, they started by looking at our feet. They both looked at my boots, slowly working their way up my body until they got up to my chest. Upon seeing how much I was showing, they both turned away and I got the clear impression from them that they did not approve. It was really weird and something I had never experienced before, but in hindsight I clearly felt as though they were shaming me for the revealing clothes I was wearing.
How awful. I mean, I suppose there are those that might tell me to not be bothered and in fact that I should be flattered. Flattered because someone took me to be a born woman. They didn’t dismiss me because I am transgender and so, I must have passed. I achieved the holy grail for transgender people. But, no, that is really not important for me. What is important? People treating people with respect and dignity as fellow human beings. I really do not think people should be shamed for being transgender, or from showing a little bit of skin.
Love you! Love yourselves! Love your fellow humans! Boo, hiss on body shaming!!
Oh and yeah, if you are curious on how someone who was born male and has had no hormone treatments can achieve this look, that my friend said looked better than $9,000 was able to buy her, then check out my page on how I create it.
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Hi, I’m Nadine Spirit and I have been a lifelong gender non-conformer. I have always understood that I am a bit different than most but it was not until sometime in my thirties that I came to understand that I am transgender. While I spend most of my time presenting as a male I am always presenting in a gender non-conforming manner.
I started my blog, Unordinary Style, with the idea of being able to show a stylish side to those who identify as transgender. Since that time my blog has evolved into showing my personal style, discussing a wide variety of transgender topics, as well as posts about my personal life. My personal style continues to evolve as I attempt to continually push myself to pick stuff off of the racks, take it into the dressing room, and try on as much as I can. I am a firm believer in ignoring tag sizes, never paying retail prices, and due to a terrific allergy – that nickel should never be in any jewelry!