Feline interlude: NAMED

I’m off to Chicago for the weekend. Agenda items include:

+ Drag the ‘rents to see Mike Doughty at Taste of Randolph Street
+ Partake of the Custer Street Fair, which I haven’t attended in AGES, but which was the event of the summer when I was wee
+ Eat myself into a coma, preferably at Edwardo’s
+ Visit Leigh Ann (my beloved shoe pimp) at the Bucktown Fluevog store
+ Finally see Indiana Jones, which I assume will suck, but is the only movie all 4 of us are willing to see. Perhaps I’ll be pleasantly surprised!

These among other things. I’ll be back on Monday. Till then, here is a completely style-free post:

I generally abhor babytalk. I do my utmost to speak normal human English to both infants and animals at all times. But I realized the other day that I absolutely CANNOT refrain from making up billions upon billions of nicknames for my two cats. Witness:

This is Rowan


Mrs. Ro (She became a Mrs. when I did.)
Row boat
Pretty Girl
Prettiest Kittiest
Beautiful Girl
Girl Cat
Baby Bear
Baby Girl Cat
Sweet Pea
Queen Rowan (Did you know that male cats are toms, female cats are queens? LOVE that.)

And this is Simon


Buddy Cat
Baby Boy Cat
Bufflehead (Don’t ask me why. Must’ve been a mutation of Muffinhead.)
Mr. Toes and the Tummy-tummy (He’s a polydactyl with 6 toes per paw.)
Professor Monkeypants (He holds a Ph.D. in monkeypants from the world-renowned University of Pants.)

And I swear to you that every one of these gets used at least once a week. There are likely countless other one-timers that I simply can’t recall.

How many nicknames do YOUR pets have? Feel free to list.

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15 Responses to “Feline interlude: NAMED”

  1. Michael McGraw Photography

    I dont think I have ever heard you call Simon Bufflehead or Bee Bo. Are these private names you have for Simon when I am not around.

    also for Simon, you forgot his full name: Simon Edward Maria you Little F*ck M*Graw.

  2. Sal

    Dack! How could I forget Simon’s full name. He’s been so good lately, we haven’t needed to use it.

  3. Jerri

    maybe mike is referring to your “SSB” (secret single behavior–sex and the city reference you’ll understand after you watch the DVD’s). hope you have an awesome time in chicago! i hope you make it there with no weather-related interruptions. see you next week!

  4. Cal

    I’m glad to know I’m not the only person who hates baby talk but still gets sucked into pet nicknames. My cat’s full name is Ebbie (short for Ebony Fifi Manolo) and here are a few of her nicknames:
    Ebalone, Ebenezer, Eh-boo-boo (pronounced like yogi bear would say it) and lately, Muffin. No idea where that last one came from but oh well, I’m just going to go with it!

  5. Anonymous

    The Normanator and Miss Pixie Whiskey Lu and I all wish you a fun time in Chicago!

  6. Material Girl

    My cat, Lewis, only has a few nicknames (Lew, Mr. Lewis, Bean), but to make up for that, he has his own theme song. Yep, I actually composed an entire song for Lewis one day when he was a tiny baby and I was feeding him his “veal with gravy” Gerber baby food.

    [Sung to the tune of “The Star-Spangled Banner”:]
    “oh little lewis bean/he’s the smallest lewis seen/since the great lewis rush/of 1819
    but lewis bean’s the biggest black mexican jumping bean…
    oh little lewis bean/and his veeeeal with gravyyyyyy!”

    And yes, I still sing it to him. I can’t BELIEVE I’m admitting this (no one else has ever heard the song), but it seemed the perfect place to tell my dorky secret.

    [I found your fabulous blog via daddylikey, btw…love it!]

    xoxo, material girl

  7. enc

    I don’t think you can possibly have a pet you love and not use babytalk. You are exempt.

    I had a dog, named Junior. Her name became BooBooFrog. Don’t ask.

    I had a cat, named Darla. Her name became Ding Dong.

    We all do it.

  8. enc


    In my baby-talk-induced reverie, I forgot to wish you a great time in Chicagoland with your parent.

    Have fun!

  9. Sal

    Hahaha. These are marvelous! Material Girl, I believe, you take the cake for most truly awesome feline tribute. I bet Lewis loves nothing more than to hear his own theme song in the dulcet tones of his hu-mom’s voice.

  10. ambika

    I think my cats might have just as many names! They’re seriously gorgeous, btw.

  11. Iheartfashion

    Your cats are adorable!
    I abhor babytalk too, but find myself slipping into it when I talk to my own “Bustyboo Buddha”, aka Buster.

  12. The Raisin Girl


    Don't feel alone.

    I have two cats. Chico, aka Orange Cat, Fuzzybitch (only when he's exceptionally bad, and I always say sorry later), Chicozy, and Chicocat.

    Nemesis, aka Nemy, Kittyloaf, Kitten Loaf, Loaf, The Kitten, and Evil Beast (because no matter how much I love her, she's ALWAYS bad).

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