Self-care encompasses a universe of possible activities, and the ones you choose for yourself may be drastically different than the ones I choose for myself. Many women tell me that style seems like the opposite of self-care to them, a realm that involves judgment, rules, stress, comparison, and disappointment. And, of course, that is completely valid. No two people’s concepts of self-care will be identical. But here’s why I consider style to be a part of my own self-care regimen.
Originally posted 2014-02-03 06:25:40.
No one is born hating her body. We learn to hate ourselves as we begin interacting with other people and absorbing messages from the media and participating in society. Eventually, the negativity becomes ingrained and we outgrow outside input, berating ourselves and scorning our own physical forms with little or no prompting. That internalized loathing becomes a body image monologue, a personalized story that loops and loops, reinforcing negative feelings and drowning out love.
Now each person’s body image monologue is different, so I won’t presume to know how to change yours. But here’s where I can help: For many of us, the drone of that negative feedback is so low and constant that we hardly even realize it’s there. We’ve lost it to familiarity, so we don’t even realize it’s something we want to combat. But changing your inner body image monologue can be transformative because it alters your baseline. Even just moving from a baseline of body hatred to a baseline of body neutrality can ease stress, change thought patterns, and encourage acceptance and serenity. So here’s where you might want to start:
Originally posted 2013-12-10 06:21:29.
I have a background in New Agey-ness. Honest. I worked at a metaphysical book publisher for years, and I did so because I’m a double Capricorn with Taurus rising and am quite sure that information has real bearing on my life path. I have experienced the power of visualization, seen spells work, and received practical, helpful advice from Tarot readings. I don’t just want to believe, I actually do. In more cases than not.
But there’s a certain segment of self-help, New Age, advice-y stuff that makes me go, “Eh.” And for years, that included mantras. I talk a lot and write even more, so you’d think that I’d GET how powerful words can be. Especially in repetition. But I didn’t. Until I hit a wall in my own body image work and started reciting a few on my own. And they worked.
Originally posted 2012-05-14 06:19:55.