Cultivating self-love and body positivity can feel so daunting. When you’ve spent ages trash-talking your own physical form, fielding criticism from others, or dealing with any kind of negativity that has jarred you loose from a foundation of self-respect and acceptance, the road back to body love can feel long. The work can seem overwhelming. And there will be days when you wonder if you’ll ever feel at peace with yourself again.
And, the fact is, that total self-love and body acceptance are really, really difficult to achieve. I know I’M not there, and I’ve been actively working at both goals for more years than I can count. So bear that in mind: It’s a work in progress and more about the journey than any imagined destination.
Originally posted 2012-10-19 06:30:51.
I consider style to be an integral part of presentation of self. We all have private selves that few people get to know or see, and we all have public selves that we must share with strangers and the observing world. Our public selves may speak, walk, emote, and interact differently from our private selves. Those are behavioral choices we make, actions we finesse in order to convey certain aspects of our personalities. How we hold our bodies influences presentation of self, as does how we engage in eye contact, tone and volume of speaking voice, and expressive gestures. Dressing also contributes to the public self that we craft, and the clothing we choose to wear and the ways in which we wear it can broadcast certain beliefs, traits, or preferences that we hold.
Originally posted 2012-09-13 06:25:21.
Compliments are controversial around these parts. I’m a fan of both giving and receiving them, and feel that doing so is beneficial. But I’ve heard you folks say time and again that compliments can be tricky, confusing, even painful depending on how they’re presented and how the person receiving them interprets them.
Since I am fascinated by all things style and body image, the compliments I tend to encourage have to do with those two topics. And what I’ve learned is that when some people are told, “You look great today,” what they hear is, “You look better today than you usually look.” That when some people are told, “You’ve got gorgeous hair,” they feel uncomfortable accepting praise for something that is genetic, inherited, and mainly beyond their control. That when some people are told, “You look fabulous in that dress,” they feel the underlying implication is, “You have conformed to social beauty norms. Good job.”
Originally posted 2012-09-11 06:20:25.