There have been times in my life when I’ve postponed change or celebration or reward because of my body. I’ve said to myself, “I’ll do that once I’m happier with myself. Once I’ve lost weight/toned up/changed my shape, I’ll allow myself this activity or thing. I’ll should wait until then and reward myself.”
I know I am not alone. So many of us buy into the idea that we should motivate ourselves by depriving ourselves. If we don’t book that vacation or buy that new wardrobe until after we’ve changed our bodies, the pent-up excitement created by anticipation will fuel our body-changing efforts. Which may be true to some small extent, maybe, probably at the very beginning of a body-change journey. But there’s a darker side to this internal bargain: The belief that we don’t actually deserve change or celebration or reward until we look “different” or “better,” which usually means “smaller” or “thinner.”
Originally posted 2015-03-19 06:11:56.
I know I’ve told this story before, but it has shaped my worldview so I’m gonna lay it on ya again:
A while back, a dear friend of mine told me something that stopped me cold. She said (and I’m paraphrasing), “Sally, do you know why I don’t run for political office myself? It’s because I could never handle the scrutiny and criticism I’d take for how I look. Women in politics and power are constantly under the microscope for their bodies, grooming, and style, and I just couldn’t take it.”
Originally posted 2015-04-27 06:33:52.
I have worked with a handful of women who truly, honestly do not feel angst or worry about their bodies. And these women are a wonderfully diverse, if tiny, group: A former stripper, a petite plus mom of four, an octogenarian artist, a high school gym teacher, to name a few. I know that they truly, honestly do not feel angst or worry about their bodies because I asked them. When I begin a consult, I start by asking what my client loves about her body and would like to highlight, but I also ask if there are any features she’d like to downplay. And these amazing women responded to the latter by saying, “Nothing, really. I like it all.”
Originally posted 2015-02-09 06:48:43.