… Static Guard.
My relationship with Static Guard is parallel to my relationship with The Simpsons. The Simpsons were first seen as shorts on the Tracey Ullman show, and they were moderately amusing, but nothing that rocked my world. Then the actual show was created and began to air, and the entire world had t-shirts featuring Bart telling me not to have a cow, man. And I ignored the show because catchphrases irritate me. And it stuck around, and really smart, really funny people in my life started telling me it was a quality show. But I wasn’t having it. How could the “don’t have a cow, man” show be any good? People kept telling me, I kept ignoring them. And then I married HM and watched a few episodes and was all, “YOU MEAN I’VE BEEN MISSING OUT ON THIS FOR DECADES???!??”
I’ve been asked for my input on static remedies and responded with an articulate and helpful, “Hell if I know.” But back in the spring, my tights and skirts began having daily, epic battles atop my thighs. I got desperate. And we had a bottle of Static Guard in the boutique. And I tried it. Angels sang, shafts of light illuminated my thighs, and I was all, “YOU MEAN I’VE BEEN MISSING OUT ON THIS FOR DECADES???!??”
Sometimes I have to spray on quite a bit of this stuff to keep the static in check for several hours running, but it doesn’t stink and it doesn’t seem to add any residue to my garments and it really does kill off the cling. In fact, it’s the only thing I’ve found that does.
Disclaimers: It makes me feel very strange to spray this substance on anything delicate or prone to marking. So I just don’t. I reserve Static Guard for fairly robust materials and items that I know won’t be damaged. A very cursory search led me to this entry on the hazards of this product, which are mostly of concern only after prolonged exposure. But that means don’t use gobs of it every day all winter long. And finally, there are other, more natural ways to reduce static cling. But if you’re about to interview for a job and can’t get your pants unstuck from your calves, stop into a drug store for a can of Static Guard. It’ll fix you right up.
Anyone else a fan? Have other portable static remedies? I’ve tried spraying my clothes with water, but in the dead of winter the static returns within minutes. How do you cope with static cling in your clothes?
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