Our brains are constantly being filled with information about aesthetics, dressing, sexiness, trends, fashionability, fitness, and beauty. There are too many sources to count, and they’re all dumping powerful – and sometimes contradictory – messages about style and figure flattery into our psyches. It can get damned overwhelming, and make a girl want to wear the same black pants and gray cardigan every day from now until forever. And style blogs like mine contribute to that morass of confusing information, I know. So here’s a bit of an antidote:
Fashion may exist as an art form, but clothing exists to make you look your best. Any clothing that does not make you look your best is absolutely not worth your time. When you look amazing, you feel amazing, and clothing that works with your natural assets – not against them – will help you look and feel amazing more often.
If you hate skinny jeans and prefer bootcuts because they balance you out, wear ’em and screw the trend-hounds. If you want to wear foofy vintage dresses every single day because you feel fabulous in them, do it and screw the buzzwreckers. If you think your collarbone is the sexiest thing ever created, wear scoop necks and boat necks and square necks and never ever don a collarbone-masking scarf, and screw the naysayers. Whatever you dislike, avoid it. Whatever makes you feel delighted to be alive, wear it. Whatever aspect of yourself you love best, celebrate it.
Find what works for your fabulous figure and sassy style, and embrace it with both arms. But don’t be afraid to try new styles. In fact, do your utmost to try new styles ALL THE TIME. Because your body shifts and your style shifts, and something that looked a mess on you five years ago could be just the ticket right now. Try things on at stores, borrow from friends and sisters, experiment with stuff you already own but seldom wear. Your fabulousness is a work in progress, and the more garments you amass that make you feel powerful, princesslike, and phenomenal, the better.
Style should not feel oppressive, it should feel liberating. It is another way to celebrate your body, your identity, your self. It is the simplest way to communicate to the observing world who you are, what you like, how you feel about yourself. It is a tool for self-expression and self-love, and it should buoy you constantly and never drag you down.
Looking good and feeling good are linked.
Wearing clothes that fight your figure is a surefire way to look AND feel bad.
Wearing clothes that work with your figure is a surefire way to look and feel fantastic.
So learn what suits you, wear what suits you, feel awesome.
The rest is just details.
All photos from the Wardrobe_Remix Flickr pool. If you feel like mags and TV aren’t representing your body type, aesthetic, race, height, or shape in any way, do peruse this group for a while. Stylish people of every shape, size, and background are contributing.
Originally posted 2010-03-08 06:39:00.
Hi Sal – I stalk and lurk at your blog almost every day but am not sure if I have ever commented. Imagine my surpise to see my photo! Thanks so much for making my day!
I completely agree with your words about wearing what you love and look good in instead of what's trendy, although I get caught up in the trends myself. Have a great day!
Great post, Sal! All these ladies look fabulous!
Really well said! And what lovely examples of personal style in your photos. Gorgeous!
Love this post, Sally! It's so uplifting and spot-on. Thanks!
Fabulous and inspiring post as always! I have learned slowly that I have to embrace what looks good on ME and makes me feel good instead of agonizing over the fact that my body type doesn't work with most trends.
Marie @ Lemondrop ViNtAge
I came to this via eek. What a fabulous post and vive la difference!
Great post for International Women's Day.
eek: Woo hoo! So glad to have perked up your Monday, beautiful.
The Small Fabric Of My Life: Eep! I am embarrassed to say I had no idea it was International Women's Day. But YAY!
AMEN!!! U hit the nail on the head! Thanks so much for this post Sal!
This has made me so happy that I have linked to it today. Thanks for being a good spot for women on the internet. 🙂
Hi Sal! Like eek, I've been silently reading your blog. This post just makes me so happy. Being a plus-size gal, I can't always follow the current trends (skinny jeans would be a nightmare, for example), so it's nice to be reminded that that's okay 🙂
Hi there-a very inspirational post my dear!! I've recently fallen back in love with bodycon styles and am stocking up on skirts and dresses accordingly!
Lovely, Sal. It bears mentioning that when we look back on fashion trends, we often see how brutal they were. When a woman looks great in her clothes, her own style, she's timeless, even if the fashion isn't current.
I'm curious. You talk a lot about "remixing." What do you mean by that, exactly?
I wear scoopnecks and V-necks but certainly not to show off my collarbone! LOL. I'm more focused on other assets.
Great points, instead of following one trend. I wait for things to come in to style that I adore and then buy accordingly not because the item is "in style."
To me your own personal style is always whats right for you and your body.
Lovely post & blog.
♥Darla
Thank you!
I love you!
I have been fighting for years the words of friends and family who tell me to wear things that are "right" for my body type that I absolutely hate and feel terrible in. I have a large tush, for example, so I'm not supposed to wear full, a-line or gathered skirts. But that just leaves pencil skirts, which I loathe with a passion. Whenever I wear pencil skirts, I feel like just one big giant butt. My legs feel stumpy and I just look dowdy and ridiculous to myself.
You're one of the few fashion and style gurus I've heard who will emphasize feeling good and confident over following the rules, and I love love you for that.
"If you hate skinny jeans and prefer bootcuts because they balance you out, wear 'em and screw the trend-hounds."
Will you run for mayor??
Hear, hear! Wearing what you feel good in and what suits you is definitely the way to go. And I agree about trying as many styles as possible. When I shop, I'll pick up whatever catches my eye and head for the dressing room. After all, the worst thing that can happen is that it looks bad on me and I have to take it off!
LOVE.
I've been following your blog for, I don't know, at least over a year now. Mostly I've been lurking, but this post sprang me out of lurkerdom.
Because I think it is the best post EVER. Probably not only on your blog, but in the whole history of fashion blogism.
I hate how some blogs (same as magazines really)always tell you what NOT to do, because if you break a fashion rule, you might very well die (and probably deserve it, at least that's what they make it seem like). But shouldn't be fashion about ourselves? Not only about keeping us warm, or dry, or all our possibly offensive bits covered. It should be about making us feel faboulous for ourselves – and not about making us LOOK good for others.
That's what your blog is about anyway, but I think you never put it as bluntly as you did here. And I am glad you did, because it's a message we could do with hearing much more often.
Thanks for this great uplifting post. All these ladies are so fabulous and stylish. I'm so glad communities like Wardrobe Remix exist so regular (and still amazing) folks can showcase their creativity. Way to spotlight great style.
Hear, hear!
I am certainly with you – wearing what feels right is so much more important than what fashion magazines tell you to wear. I don't always know what suits me and my body type, and those days I just go with what makes me feel good about myself. I also try to not take myself and my style too seriously. Nothing looks worse than a fashion victim lacking self-confidence and a sense of fun.
Great post! I love everything that you said. I always fight with trends. I can wear most of them except for the belts. I just don't feel comfortable belting shirts, sweaters, etc. and it looks great on some people but not me right now.
What a fantastic post, and I love to see so many beautiful different (from eachother) women – to me, this is truly inspiring!
Well written! I couldn't agree with you more. I've found that I've felt much more positive about my self/style when I pay less attention to magazines and tv and more attention to real beautiful women like me on blogs and flickr. Thanks for the great post.
Thank you for this!
I'm probably not "supposed" to wear skinny jeans since my calves are giant and muscular – it shows through the jeans, but I wear them anyways because I like the style and I like how I look in them. I have been very aware of their shape since I was very little and it took me ~20 years to accept my muscle-bulging calves. Now I love them and I like that they show through the skinny jeans.
so true!
i loved this post!
thank you!
yes, I am all about what suits me. It's why I am usually in a line skirts; though I would love to pull off skinn jeans!
Sing it loud and sing it proud, Sal! Love all these photos and especially the great message here.
You have chosen the most stylish women for this post. I love their photos, their quirks, the colours, the diversity – the liberation from fashion that you can tell they are all experiencing.
Thanks for a great post!
Bravo! I totally agree; fashion should be about flattery and fun. I think so many times we get caught up in the "rules" of fashion and what is supposedly always flattering, that we forget to keep stretching our imaginations creatively with trying new styles. At the same time, nothing can beat a basic garment shape that really makes you look like a million over one that doesn't.
Thanks for using all these fantastic photos of stylish gals from WR–I always love seeing the creativity and personality shining through these images! 🙂
♥ Casey
blog | elegantmusings.com
Very good point and something I have always though about you – you can do what is "in" but in your own way! I'm willing to try on anything, but I'm only going to wear the things that I feel comfortable in… there are so many things I don't think I pull off, so I don't wear them, which is fine! I've got enough things that make me feel fabulous, I don't need to run around feeling trendy but awkward.
This should be printed, disseminated, and re-labeled as STYLISH BLOGGER'S MANIFESTO.
This is awesome hun….Such a fantastic post and I couldn't agree more! 🙂
xo
Melis
Hahaha. I just happen to be wearing black pants and a gray cardigan today.
Love the blog! 🙂
there isn't anything to add except AMEN!. You rock Sal!
~Madeline
I found this blog through a link 20 Inspiring Ways to Boost Your Body Imageand I absolutely agree with you! My 70+ year old mom looks terrific because she wears what she likes and looks good in, and puts together her own style, fashion mags be damned!